“You Can’t Regulate Young People If You’re Dysregulated Yourself” – Changing the Culture of Wellbeing in Schools

Today I met with a team of Virtual School professionals who are passionate and committed leaders working every day to support some of our most vulnerable young people. But as I walked away, I couldn’t stop thinking: We can train educators. We can train social workers. We can train foster carers. But unless we start asking what’s going on in the mind of the adult first, we are missing the point.

How are we supposed to support and regulate young people, particularly those with complex emotional and social needs, if we, as professionals, are dysregulated ourselves? The same goes for parents, many of whom are navigating a very different world than the one I or they grew up in, amidst a storm of information, constant expectations, and increasing isolation.

We are a society of overworked individuals, saturated with knowledge and advice, but often without space to apply any of it meaningfully.

The truth is: it starts with us.

Think about your school building, it’s probably been recently built/refurbished? It’s solid and restructured. That’s something you build. But culture, especially a culture of wellbeing, is different. Culture has to be grown.

Like any living thing, a wellbeing culture needs the right conditions to “survive and thrive”. That means it needs nurturing, support, and attention. The plants won’t grow unless you give them the right soil, water and sunlight.

Our schools are no different. If we want our staff who are our most valuable resource to reach their potential and help our young people to reach theirs, we must create an environment where they can grow.

One of the most valid and powerful points raised today was this: Changing the Culture of Schools. It’s how we build stronger relationships, improve attendance, increase staff retention, and reduce the need for reactive behaviour interventions.

I’ll be honest, one wellbeing week per term is not enough. Allowing a teacher to leave early to pick up their child just once a term is not enough. Going to the gym, dinner with friends, or simply having a quiet evening without guilt should not be a rarity.

Most educators work through the holidays, planning, marking, catching up on admin, or just trying to claw back a sense of balance. Those who don’t and choose to protect their peace? They should be celebrated, not questioned.

If schools are going to be run like businesses, then they must give staff the real benefits of business: autonomy, flexibility, appreciation, and protected time to rest. That’s what a real wellbeing culture looks like and until we make that the norm, we’ll continue losing the very people who make education possible.